I now know what it's like on the other side off the room, or "the table" as they say in the land of the biz.
Today I had the unique and amazing opportunity to sit behind the auditor's table of an Equity Chorus Call (ECC) for a musical that expects to open on Broadway at the end of this year.
For 3 and a half hours I sat and watched each girl enter, eyeing every ripped pair of hose, too-short skirt and nervous perma-smile. Relaxed to be on the other side, I drank in what made each audition refreshing, painful, pleasant or forgettable. It was a fascinating education, worth hundreds of dollars in workshop fees and I came away with songs I want to learn, songs I want to forget and stories to keep me giggling. As if that wasn't enough, the notes I jotted down inspired my first stab at poetry.
So here I offer you, Ode to the ECC.
chills.
short skirt. arms go up, skirt is shorter.
not a lot of hose.
small room.
not really acting but who cares?
track outfit on a skirt.
psychotic laugh.
hi, i'm betsy.
hate this song.
don't be this girl.
solid.
small room.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Operation Exodus Spotlight
I thought I'd share my "spotlight" for the kids I mentor in Washington Heights at Operation Exodus.
Every week, one of the mentors shares a brief lesson, sermon-ette in the large group assembly.
I have a very strange job. Many of your mentors and tutors work in amazing and exciting fields: Lana works for the city of New York, Jin is a scientist learning about cancer, Alyssa studies remote Asian cultures, and many others work in finance and law. Well, I moved to NYC a little over a year ago to pursue my passion for musical theatre. I would love to be in a Broadway musical someday! In order to move up that ladder of achieving my goal, I go to countless auditions all around the city, hoping to get parts in different plays and musicals. I once went to 5 auditions in one day! And the craziest part is that sometimes I’ll wait for 6 hours, just to get the chance to sing 15 seconds of a song before I’m abruptly cut off by a disinterested, “thank you!”
To be honest, it’s easy to be discouraged about this audition process but God has been gracious to show me all the ways he is unlike the cut-throat, competitive world that I seem to live and work in.
Unlike some of the people I audition for, God always approves of me and in fact, wants to hear my entire song. He wants to hear from us constantly in prayer and worship. God made me, and each of you, exactly as we are, for a reason. Psalm 139 says:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Sometimes when I go to auditions they have a process called, “typing out” where they line you up like a big herd of cattle and choose the “right types” they are looking for, just based on appearance. In God’s eyes, we are always the right type, because he created us uniquely individual.
And as much as it hurts to feel rejection, to not get chosen for the play I really want to perform in, I understand that it will probably take 25 auditions to land one job. I sometimes get rejected for being too tall, too light, too dark, my voice is too high, too big, my hair is too curly, all these things I can’t control. The amazing thing about God is that he never rejects us, and always chooses us. Isaiah 41:9 says "I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, "You are my servant;" I have chosen you and not rejected you."
And unlike the judges that I sing in front of, the God that we get to know and learn about today at Exodus is a perfect and righteous judge.
And why is this judge unlike any other? Because he took his most treasured possession, his Son, Jesus Christ, and sent him to our world, to live and teach and play the biggest part in the truest play and story the world will ever know. Jesus took on the hardest role ever imagined, the hero, dying on the cross for all of our sins. Though he had no fault, no crime, no reason to die, he willingly played the part so that you and I who are not perfect, who mess up constantly, and who without him could not stand in God’s presence might have an eternal role in God's family. Because of Jesus' sacrifice we are never condemned, we are loved and wholly accepted by the God who sees us as perfectly spotless as Jesus.
And what does this do for me?
I know as his precious child, that even though many of these worldly judges and casting directors may not accept me, hire me or want me to play parts in their play, that God ALWAYS has a part for me in His. One of my favorite verses says, "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you in singing. " Zeph 3:17
And because of that love, that delight that I know God has in me, because of Jesus, I continue on. I continue to pursue my dreams, to live my passion “[singing} with all the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever." 1 Peter 4:11
I sing my auditions with all that strength and I’m always thankful for the everlasting and righteous judge I have in God!
Every week, one of the mentors shares a brief lesson, sermon-ette in the large group assembly.
I have a very strange job. Many of your mentors and tutors work in amazing and exciting fields: Lana works for the city of New York, Jin is a scientist learning about cancer, Alyssa studies remote Asian cultures, and many others work in finance and law. Well, I moved to NYC a little over a year ago to pursue my passion for musical theatre. I would love to be in a Broadway musical someday! In order to move up that ladder of achieving my goal, I go to countless auditions all around the city, hoping to get parts in different plays and musicals. I once went to 5 auditions in one day! And the craziest part is that sometimes I’ll wait for 6 hours, just to get the chance to sing 15 seconds of a song before I’m abruptly cut off by a disinterested, “thank you!”
To be honest, it’s easy to be discouraged about this audition process but God has been gracious to show me all the ways he is unlike the cut-throat, competitive world that I seem to live and work in.
Unlike some of the people I audition for, God always approves of me and in fact, wants to hear my entire song. He wants to hear from us constantly in prayer and worship. God made me, and each of you, exactly as we are, for a reason. Psalm 139 says:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Sometimes when I go to auditions they have a process called, “typing out” where they line you up like a big herd of cattle and choose the “right types” they are looking for, just based on appearance. In God’s eyes, we are always the right type, because he created us uniquely individual.
And as much as it hurts to feel rejection, to not get chosen for the play I really want to perform in, I understand that it will probably take 25 auditions to land one job. I sometimes get rejected for being too tall, too light, too dark, my voice is too high, too big, my hair is too curly, all these things I can’t control. The amazing thing about God is that he never rejects us, and always chooses us. Isaiah 41:9 says "I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, "You are my servant;" I have chosen you and not rejected you."
And unlike the judges that I sing in front of, the God that we get to know and learn about today at Exodus is a perfect and righteous judge.
And why is this judge unlike any other? Because he took his most treasured possession, his Son, Jesus Christ, and sent him to our world, to live and teach and play the biggest part in the truest play and story the world will ever know. Jesus took on the hardest role ever imagined, the hero, dying on the cross for all of our sins. Though he had no fault, no crime, no reason to die, he willingly played the part so that you and I who are not perfect, who mess up constantly, and who without him could not stand in God’s presence might have an eternal role in God's family. Because of Jesus' sacrifice we are never condemned, we are loved and wholly accepted by the God who sees us as perfectly spotless as Jesus.
And what does this do for me?
I know as his precious child, that even though many of these worldly judges and casting directors may not accept me, hire me or want me to play parts in their play, that God ALWAYS has a part for me in His. One of my favorite verses says, "The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you in singing. " Zeph 3:17
And because of that love, that delight that I know God has in me, because of Jesus, I continue on. I continue to pursue my dreams, to live my passion “[singing} with all the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever." 1 Peter 4:11
I sing my auditions with all that strength and I’m always thankful for the everlasting and righteous judge I have in God!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Not to Say Goodbye, Page.
I woke up this morning with an email in my inbox with the simple subject: "Sad News from Mark Shaull." You never want to wake up to sad news, and it can never be good when it's from Mr. Shaull, my high school choir director, who is so busy, he rarely writes.
My friend, mentor and first voice teacher, Page Swift, passed away last Friday. I had no idea, but for the last year she struggled with cancer. I am so sad that I never told her how much I loved and respected her, and how she ignited my passion for music and singing. I have a feeling she knew all this without my verbal telling but for those of us left when our friends pass on, that visceral telling and sharing is such a comfort.
I still remember the first time I walked into Page's voice studio in Palo Alto, trembling after hearing booming, throbbing operatic sounds from the preceding student. Page was always so matter of fact. I think I sang one of my favorite hits of the time, "Bring Him Home" from Les Mis. (Yes, I know that Jean Valjean sings "Bring Him Home" but what 7th grade soprano doesn't want to sing that?) I had sought a voice teacher to get me to the next level in Los Altos Youth Theatre's star progression. I had dreams of "the Broadway." Page was a long-time San Francisco Opera chorus member, and as she was like to do for the next six years, she quickly sized me up and in no time had me trading in Andrew Lloyd Webber for Mozart. Mom sat in that first lesson but after that I was on my own, under Page's steady, exacting yet generous leading. She inspired me to practice, to learn the arias for the roles she deemed me destined to sing and even those she didn't! (I remember a very disappointing day when I brought in Susanna's aria from "Le nozze di Figaro." "Well, you're a Cherubino, not a Susanna." she said to my 15-year-old-self. "You're just not right physically for Susanna.") She was honest with compassion, selfless with her time, so generous with her encouragement. Though she may not have approved, she came to every single one of my theatre performances, kind enough to remind me that I wasn't using my whole voice! It was Page who first led me to opera, to the magic of orchestra and singers and costume and drama all together, other-worldly in its scope. Shortly after beginning lessons with her, she gave my mom and I two tickets to the final dress rehearsal of "L'elisir d'amore" starring Ruth Ann Swenson. Page knew then that I would be trading Broadway for opera and with her steady guidance, I leaped into the world of classical music, of opera training programs and two voice degrees! In the last years, Page continued to encourage me and attend recitals I presented, and until just a few years ago continued to light up the stage of the War Memorial Opera House.
Page was a friend and a guide to so many beautiful singers. I count myself so lucky to have been one of her students. One of my greatest honors was being asked to sing in her wedding as an 8th grader. A single woman into her 50s, she was blessed to find a wonderful husband in Ted. I will never forget that most musically stunning celebration, complete with brass and a large portion of the San Francisco Opera Chorus. She had 3 of her students sing, only showing the heart and love she put into developing singers. Without leaving any children of her own behind, Page has instead left a remarkable legacy of singers in the Bay Area. While not all pursue music as a career, certainly all have been defined and enriched with afternoons singing with Page. I can never thank her enough for the time and love she poured into my life. And while I may have drifted closer to Broadway than the Met in my career pursuits, every time I open my mouth to sing, I know I have been shaped by Page. I shall miss you very much, Page.
My friend, mentor and first voice teacher, Page Swift, passed away last Friday. I had no idea, but for the last year she struggled with cancer. I am so sad that I never told her how much I loved and respected her, and how she ignited my passion for music and singing. I have a feeling she knew all this without my verbal telling but for those of us left when our friends pass on, that visceral telling and sharing is such a comfort.
I still remember the first time I walked into Page's voice studio in Palo Alto, trembling after hearing booming, throbbing operatic sounds from the preceding student. Page was always so matter of fact. I think I sang one of my favorite hits of the time, "Bring Him Home" from Les Mis. (Yes, I know that Jean Valjean sings "Bring Him Home" but what 7th grade soprano doesn't want to sing that?) I had sought a voice teacher to get me to the next level in Los Altos Youth Theatre's star progression. I had dreams of "the Broadway." Page was a long-time San Francisco Opera chorus member, and as she was like to do for the next six years, she quickly sized me up and in no time had me trading in Andrew Lloyd Webber for Mozart. Mom sat in that first lesson but after that I was on my own, under Page's steady, exacting yet generous leading. She inspired me to practice, to learn the arias for the roles she deemed me destined to sing and even those she didn't! (I remember a very disappointing day when I brought in Susanna's aria from "Le nozze di Figaro." "Well, you're a Cherubino, not a Susanna." she said to my 15-year-old-self. "You're just not right physically for Susanna.") She was honest with compassion, selfless with her time, so generous with her encouragement. Though she may not have approved, she came to every single one of my theatre performances, kind enough to remind me that I wasn't using my whole voice! It was Page who first led me to opera, to the magic of orchestra and singers and costume and drama all together, other-worldly in its scope. Shortly after beginning lessons with her, she gave my mom and I two tickets to the final dress rehearsal of "L'elisir d'amore" starring Ruth Ann Swenson. Page knew then that I would be trading Broadway for opera and with her steady guidance, I leaped into the world of classical music, of opera training programs and two voice degrees! In the last years, Page continued to encourage me and attend recitals I presented, and until just a few years ago continued to light up the stage of the War Memorial Opera House.
Page was a friend and a guide to so many beautiful singers. I count myself so lucky to have been one of her students. One of my greatest honors was being asked to sing in her wedding as an 8th grader. A single woman into her 50s, she was blessed to find a wonderful husband in Ted. I will never forget that most musically stunning celebration, complete with brass and a large portion of the San Francisco Opera Chorus. She had 3 of her students sing, only showing the heart and love she put into developing singers. Without leaving any children of her own behind, Page has instead left a remarkable legacy of singers in the Bay Area. While not all pursue music as a career, certainly all have been defined and enriched with afternoons singing with Page. I can never thank her enough for the time and love she poured into my life. And while I may have drifted closer to Broadway than the Met in my career pursuits, every time I open my mouth to sing, I know I have been shaped by Page. I shall miss you very much, Page.
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