I'm in a wonderful show. It's so wonderful it's called, "A Wonderful Life." You know the movie and love it. The cast is amazing, new friends I hope to hold near. I wanted this show so so bad since that ever-so-sweaty callback, dancing the Charleston in October. The choreographer said to us as we caught our breath between partner switches, "We appreciate you so much. Some of the best work in New York happens in these rooms and we recognize that. Thank you." Amazing! There was one catch. It's a holiday show and taking the contract meant no Thanksgiving, no baby Noelle sightings and no Christmas in CA. But a NY show...an Equity Theatre...what an opportunity! I took the gig and decided the wonderful show, the wonderful opportunity would give me the strength to survive the holidays without my family.
I've survived 5 Lessons and Carols services, 250 Redeemer Musicians Christmas Cards, CD tables at 15 services, missing my niece's birth all the while making 4 hour round trips to Northport, Long Island to sing and dance my heart out. It's been rough! I was so looking forward to December 24, my first real DAY OFF since the start of rehearsals. And then my flight to Chicago was canceled. No Sulayman family to help me forget I wasn't celebrating Christmas with my real family. And these 3 days OFF, this big finish that I was hoping to make it to have come and have been the most challenging of this entire crazy run. I'd rather be running from work to a train or crammed in a 15 person van in Long Island traffic than feel the depth of homesickness I've struggled with these last few days. Whose wonderful idea was this?
And yet in the midst of my own selfish "debbie-downer" feelings God is so gracious. As my mom tried to whisper to me in between my gulping sobs, I'm so lucky to have a family that I love so much whose distance makes me ache. I am so so so blessed. And I can only think of God's ache for us, and my ache for Him. This pull of my heart for my family is such a beautiful reflection of that ache we all have built inside of us for the feast with the Father. Thank you Lord for sending Jesus. I am weak and he is strong. He was born in that manger to be weak so that today, even flooded with homesick-laced tears, I can be strong.
Do you know that wonderful actually means to flee with wonder? TK's last sermon was on Jesus, Our Wonderful Counselor. He invites us to wonder in Him, to fill our hearts most with what our hearts most need. Certainly these three days have led me to the place I must go when I'm weakest, in the arms of our dear Savior. Wonderful Counselor indeed.
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3 comments:
Hello hello hello! I am so happy to be reading your blog. I am so happy to know you. Truly.
You're a beautiful writer, as well, Sharpstown. Maybe we can encourage one another to keep the posts coming in this crazy city.
Homesickness is the worst feeling. That was my regret in taking this contract, that I wouldn't be with my family during the holidays. But thank God I did, because I've met a wonderful person in you. I'm truly thankful.
I got prompted to look at your blog today with my google alert and I just want you to know that our hearts were aching and missing you so much too. God has given us strength to release our claim on your life and let you spread your wings this year. But it hasn't been easy for us either. We played your CD all morning so we could still have you singing in the living room while we unwrapped and ate Barb's Swedish twists.
You would have loved how mature and sweet Sara is. She and Percy totally gave themselves to whatever game or imaginary play Charlie wanted them to join. And Noelle continues to get more beautiful each day so that by the time you arrive in a few days...she will be at her peak and melt into your arms. She may be the sweetest baby God ever made yet.
One of my greatest joys in life is how close you are to Jesus. It comforts me to know that when we cannot hold you in our arms, Jesus does. Love you!
Hi, one of the things we can be comforted in when feeling down even though we are a child of God is the knowledge of the clouds of witnesses that came before us were able to do what you do/did as well. We have this great heritage of brothers and sisters in Christ that have been exactly where you are and survived with God's help. Remember your extended family loves you, prays for you and roots for you in your success. Do you realize what an honor it was to sing with you and to be able to tell my kids what a wonderful professional musician you are and all the great things you've done and are doing? We love you!
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